Conversation/Toasts/Interaction!

Every gathering is comprised of an eclectic grouping of individuals. We learn varying perspectives, diction, better ways to communicate, become inspired, and thus gain a more enriching fulfilling life.

How to communicate?
Ask open ended questions. This allows a person to answer with more than a yes or no. Open ended questions encourage descriptive responses of which you are able to make inferences and further connect. But don't jump to conclusions, rather further engage with the person.

Listen with a purpose. By actively listening to someone, you gain perspective, direction, develop an understanding of who this person is while being able to assess common denominators. Active listening enables people to solve problems, show support, and share interests.

Offer feedback. Offering feedback by recapturing the main idea of the conversation. When doing so, this qualifies that you have accurately understood the conversation shared.

We are all social creatures. We are always in the need of friends. To begin, start with small talk. Ask potential friends about themselves and their interests. But BEWARE!!! there are certainly specific topics of conversation to reel away from while attending a party...

These are:
1. Politics
Politics is a funky subject of which many people regard with great passion. There is a time and place for politics i.e., intimate gatherings and one on one conversation outside of a party environment. Typically during a cocktail party, we are all consuming festive spirits...but this doesn't mean that others find your liquored rants to be persuasive. If someone asks your opinion, say that you would love to offer an opinion encouraging the explanation may be better shared at another time.

2.Religion
Religion too is harboured with great passion regardless of your view. We spend a lifetime contemplating the what ifs of the whole religious perspectives. Veer away from religious denominational conversation. However, theological conversation does not demand an affiliation with a specific denomination...it is simply a conceptual discussion. If you find someone cerebral enough to tango in this realm, then, depending on environment, seating, etc...have fun.

3.Earnings
How much someone makes annually. It is NEVER okay to ask what one earns personally. If a topic of various positions and monetary salaries correlating to those positions erupts, then this is fair game. But to directly ask one what they make is truly a faux pas and never forgotten by the one receiving the question. Also, in this category, it is key not to detail how much you spent on an object nor ask what someone paid for an item. If you would like to inquire about a wine or cheese being served, ask where the host/hostess purchased them, but don't ask "how much?!".

4.Gifted and Talented Children that YOU Birthed
Please! A complete yawn at a party. We all believe our children to be special...in fact, each child DOES encompass immense potential. But unless your child is debuting with the New York Philharmonic or designing and manufacturing his/her own personal computers...please don't share! Talking about kids is a given. Share experiences of which we can all relate to...because even Genius George soiled himself while at a restaurant while perfect you didn't have a clean set of clothes.

5.Talking about other people
Just Don't! Certainly not at a party. I am referring to the infamous gossip fest that sometimes develops at social gatherings. No No No No No! If you have a fabulous compliment to share about someone, then by all means, share your compliment and theory as to why it was earned, otherwise, shut it! Bad vibes and horribly impolite!

6.Death and Illness
If your ambition is to generate a pool of sobs and sadness, then plow forward. I cannot think of anything more uplifting than discussing pancreatic cancer, death, and fear of contracting such an illness. We all know of someone who has been afflicted with a disease, suffering or lost the battle, etc...a party isn't the place to expound on this topic.

7.Narcissism
Like I said earlier, every child is special and so is each adult. Everyone has something to offer. However, it is such a bore to listen or be forced to listen to someone drone on and on about how he/she saved the company, how much he/she works out, the idiosyncratic details of the macrobiotic diet they have designed and encourage all other over weight sloths to engage in daily, the need to talk about their fetishes and OCD....please...don't! You may think this is attracting others to you, but the opposite goal is being attained.

8.Name Dropping
Trying to outdo the person who was kind enough to engage with you is obnoxious! Sharing experiences and correlating these experiences with specific people can be interesting. There is a limit. One story following one fantastic story of your life as a drama queen/king makes those who are in the "audience" questioning why the brilliant you is here and not on the red carpet hobnobbing with all of the other important folk.

9.Sex
Unless you are attending a "sex" party or you are at a sex toys convention, this topic is off limits. Period! Although sex is on every one's minds, it isn't something that need be expounded at a social event. I do not want to hear about your favorite sex toy purchase, your latest position, nor do I wish to inventory how many lovers you have acquired over the years. Eewwwww Nasty!

10.(Just because I feel I need 10 topics)...try not to be a one topic conversationalist. People will see you coming and disperse. For example: If all you have in your conversational arsenal is the topic of your kids...try to amp it up a bit and elaborate on generations, specific age groups and topics which are pertinent to those age groups...i.e, teenagers....oversleeping, hormonal imbalances, apathy, creativity, identity, etc..

Parties are meant to be enjoyed. Try to put your best foot forward and join with a positive attitude. If you are lucky, you will meet interesting people, learn something new, and make a lasting memory for yourself and another.

Cheers!